Dear Granddaddy, what do I tell my son whose father has become addicted to drugs and now rarely comes around? Amy D. – worried mom.
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Amy, I’m sorry you and your son are dealing with this hardship. Drugs have damaged and destroyed more lives and relationships than any of us are able to count. You’re in a tough spot, but at least you’re in a spot where you and your son still have each other. And that’s enough. Amy, your son is enough for you, and you are enough for him. The two of you can build a nice life together. You complete each other.
Now let’s get back to the question of what to tell your son about his father’s drug problem. Maybe you should be honest with him and tell him the truth. This country is experiencing a series drug epidemic. It isn’t going to get any better if we aren’t transparent about it so that we can collectively begin looking for solutions. Solutions start at home.
Next, and this is the really hard part, maybe the boy’s father not coming around much is a blessing in disguise. Growing up today is hard enough without complicating it with an addicted parent. My advice is to allow his father to hit rock-bottom and not let him back into your lives until he’s clean and fully recovered.
In the meantime, there are lots of good male role models out there. Every community has wonderful teachers, coaches, mentors, and neighborhood fathers, who can step up, step in, and help with the male development of our young boys. Some communities even have programs specifically designed for these types of situations like Eddie DeJesus’ Man Up Program in New Britain, CT.
So in conclusion, Amy, please do not blame yourself. Do not allow yourself or your boy to feel a victim. Be victors! Force your boy’s father to clean up his act. Tell your son the truth and find some good role models for him to learn from, and maybe even emulate. Amy, you and your boy are going to be just fine.
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Dan Blanchard is an award-winning author, speaker, and educator who has appeared on over 100 television and radio shows. To find out more about Dan or to submit a question to him, please visit him on his website at: www.GranddaddysSecrets.com.