DEAR GRANDDADDY- A Teen, Parent, and Educator Advice Column BLOG #37

Dear Granddaddy, my boyfriend is not always very nice to me. I tried to talk to him, but whenever I do, we end up in a fight. Maria V. – a loving girlfriend.

Bestselling and award-winning author, speaker, educator, and TV host.


Maria, nothing is more precious in a man’s life than a woman’s love. However, some men take a woman’s love for granted and think that it will always be there for them, no matter what. Hey, we all sort of do this a little bit or we wouldn’t have that saying, “You don’t know what you have until it’s gone,” right?

If your boyfriend won’t talk about his behavior without escalating the conversation into a fight, I think you should be concerned. You may not want to hear this, but I have to tell you that your boyfriend might not be the right guy for you. Give him some room and see if his tone changes at all. See if he misses you and treats you nicer. If he doesn’t, then maybe you need to move on. After all, I’m sure you’ve also heard that other old saying, “There are plenty of fish in the sea.” I’m sure that many of them would be nice to you, too.

I know you told me that you’re a loving girlfriend, and that’s noble and wonderful. But, if you really want to be loving, then you need to start in the most important place first: with yourself. If you fully love yourself first, then you will be in a position to have the confidence to surround yourself with only the people who fully love you back. You will not tolerate people treating you badly and playing with your emotions.

So, in closing, Maria, learn to love yourself first. Give your boyfriend some room and see how he responds. And don’t be afraid to express to him again how you feel about the way he has been treating you. If he does anything other than apologizes and improves his behavior, then I think you should consider redirecting your loving gaze from him to out on that great big sea full of fish.

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Dan Blanchard is an award-winning author, speaker, and educator who has appeared on over 100 television and radio shows. To find out more about Dan or to submit a question to him, please visit him on his website at: