DEAR GRANDDADDY- A Teen, Parent, and Educator Advice Column BLOG #38

Dear Granddaddy, my friend was just senselessly killed. What am I supposed to do now? Xavier S. – angry student.

Bestselling and award-winning author, speaker, educator, and TV host.


Hey, Xavier. I’m feeling your pain, buddy. I’ve lost a lot of people in my life, too, as well as one just recently, so I know what you’re going through. I also know that this is easier said than done, but you have to hang in there, Champ. Trust me, hanging in there is what your friend would want you to do.

So, you’re mad! And you’re probably mad as heck, huh? Okay. Good. Now let’s put all that anger energy to good use. If there’s something positive you’ve wanted to do but have been putting it off, now is a great time to get to it and get it done! Life doesn’t have to feel hopeless… You don’t have to feel bitter… If you accomplish even the smallest positive thing because of this tragedy, then you’ve done something good and your friend would be proud of you for it.

Now, if you can’t think of a small positive thing to do, then turn your energies to yourself. Begin exercising so you can redirect some of that anger and frustration that you’re feeling. And if you’re already working out, then pick up the intensity a notch. I know for a fact that you’ll feel a lot better if you hit the weights or hit the pavement and log some miles onto those running sneakers of yours.

Finally, one of the best things for all of us to do when we’re feeling down is to help pick up another person. Find someone who needs a lift and go help them out. If you make their life better, I guarantee that your life will be better, too.

So, in conclusion, Xavier, never forget your dear friend, but don’t let your last memories of him leave you bitter. Instead, use your memories of him to make you better. You can do this, Xavier. Now pick yourself up and get started in making yourself a better person, who will make this world a better place.

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Dan Blanchard is a bestselling winning author, award-winning speaker, and educator who has appeared on over 100 television and radio shows. To find out more about Dan or to submit a question to him, please visit him on his website at: